Onward & Upward Coaching

Much has been written in the last few years about the Law of Attraction(LOA) and how it works.   Many people (myself included) have used it to much success.  But then I know of those who have attempted to use it, got frustrated and abandonded it.  In an effort to explain it further, I have broken it down to four simple steps that I hope will assist you in applying this universal law.

1.  Be clear of what you don’t want in your life, do not generalize.

2.  Know what you do want in your life and WRITE IT DOWN.  Make a detailed list and write down the feelings associated with getting what you want and focus on it.

3.  Experience your desire fulfilled.  Think it is already provided to you (it really is) and temporarily forget you lack it.  Your feelings of having it are important here.

4.  Have an “Attitude of Gratitude” for what you already have and be generous with it.  By being thankful for what you have and giving it away, you are inviting more of what it is into your life and are opening yourself up to receive.

Finally, do not sit back and wait for it.  Work toward what you want in your life with the complete trust that it will show up on time when you need it and in ways you never could have imagined.  That is the fun part!  There is an old saying that still rings true: “God will not be outdone in His generosity.”   I hope these steps can help you in manifesting your desires into reality.  Let me know how it works for you.

It is the season of great anxiety and fear in the world.  Many people are worried about the economy, high fuel costs, the outcome of the presidential election and global conflicts.  This is having a spillover affect on the lives of the everyday student and worker.  The student wonders if (s)he will be able to get a student loan next year to continue their education or if they may have to take time off to go work and help support their education or even their family.  The young worker in their job wonders if he will even “have” a job, how is he going to make ends meet?  Will he ever be able to save for a home or pay off his debts?

In our information age it is easy to get caught up in the downward spiral of gloom and doom as it is being presented to us on a 24/7 basis!  My hope with this entry is to inspire hope that we will get through all this.  Cardinal Cooke of New York used to say: ” It will be o k, God will see us through.”  It is during trying times that we must have faith in our abilities and the knowledge that we, collectively and individually, have the power to overcome whatever faces us and also the courage to do it!  I have listed some pointers that I hope will be of some help and I encourage my readers to add their own.

1. Limit your news exposure.  I feel this is very important, being bombarded with negativity all the time will  naturally bring even the most positive person down.  I am not saying don’t be uninformed, I am saying limit your exposure.  Watch the news maybe a half an hour a day, Scan your favorite news website once a day and that’s it.  Don’t become an obsessive news info gatherer.

2. Exercise/Eat right/Sleep.  Keep your health good.  You will be at your best when you feel your best.  Exercise will release endorphins that will help change your mood; getting some sun and fresh air will also help in a big way.  You are made of energy systems, and you will need all the energy you can get to think clearly, act rationally and respond accordingly to challenges.

3. Focus like a laser beam on the task at hand now.  Live in the moment.  Excessive worrying about tomorrow steals the energy you need for today.  Concentrate on your studies, your job and your relationships NOW!  Live for today because in reality that is all we have.  Make the next 24 hours great for you.  Also, being productive will give you a sense of accomplishment that will naturally elevate your mood.

4.  Help someone.  The best way to get your mind off your troubles is to help someone out of theirs.  Again, this elevates your energy and the good you do has a remarkable way of coming back to you multiplied.

5. Indulge in your hobbies.  Take a mental time out and do something you enjoy doing.  It can be as simple as seeing a movie, reading a book or listening to music you enjoy.  This will recharge your batteries and focus.

6. Spend time with friends and people of positive minds.  This will stimulate you both mentally and emotionally as well as improve your mood.

7. Go in the opposite direction and  spend time in silence.  Spending an hour in a room alone can be very difficult for some, but I have found that in time, my mind chatter stops and I get a clear sense of things.  Being in silence is very stimulating emotionally and spiritually.

8. Join a group; go to church.  Joining a group that interests you gives you something fun to concentrate on and stimulates you.  Going to your house of worship stimulates you spiritually and feeds your faith that things will be alright.

9. Stay positive and stay away from those who aren’t.  Feed your outlook daily, use positive affirmations and associate with those who are positive and cheerful.  I collect quotes and I have found reading them and actually writing them down affects my mood.

10. Laugh, Laugh and Laugh!  Enough said!

I hope a few of these suggestions will resonate with you,  I am sure everyone can add to this list in a personal way the things that work for them.  My point is that when we see our mood is changing for the worst and it is starting to take a toll on our daily lives, we should take a step back and evaluate what is important to us, get back to basics and live our lives in the best way that we can and to also encourage others to do the same.  We can only change what is in our power to change.  Worrying about something we have no power over does us no good in the NOW that we live in.  Remember, misery loves company when she comes knocking, don’t open the door.

“Preparation and enthusiasm oil the gears that help conquer unhealthy fears.” - Ben Holden

It’s a fact of college life that you will use a lot of textbooks and that they are very, and I mean very expensive!   In fact, it is so bad that legislation is being proposed in congress to make over a $1000 in textbook purchases during the course of a school year tax deductible.  Buying a new textbook can be looked at as buying a new car; its value depreciates rapidly after purchase.

The name of the game here is saving money and fortunately, there are many ways in which you can do this!  By far the best way to save money is to purchase used textbooks.  Gone are the days where you solely had to rely on your campus bookstore or scour the community bulletin boards to see who is selling textbooks either in the beginning or toward the end of a semester (although these are still valid options).

Start by finding out as early as possible what books you will need and begin to expand your search through social networking on sites such as Face book, MySpace, Twitter and Squidoo.  Another great site to network is on Campus2Campus.com.

You can buy and sell books through the following sites which I have found helpful:

Bookbyte.com                                                  Bigwords.com

Valorebooks.com                                            Half.com and EBay

Biblio.com                                                         Campusbooks.com

Textbooks.com                                                 Easyschoolbooks.com

Bookthief.com                                                  Collegesmarts.com

Many of these online bookstore retailers will comparison-shop to find you the best price on books.

College textbooks can be significantly cheaper if purchased overseas.   Go to Bookkcentral.com and Amazon.com.uk to compare prices and find out more.

Another strategy is to rent textbooks through Chegg.com.  You can save up to 80% off the cost of buying your books by renting; just search for the book you are looking for by its ISBN #.  Chegg .com also offers a purchase option.

You may also qualify for free textbooks.  Go to usedbooksblog.com for more information and to see various options.

At iChapters.com you’ll find e-book versions of most textbooks and you can even buy individual chapters for as low as $1.99!

With a little research and legwork on your part, you can do a lot to save money and reduce the price shock of buying books every semester.

This story says it all, you are never to old to follow your bliss…Thank you Rose for this lesson…

My Name is Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know
someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle
hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that tlit up her entire being.
She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a
hug?’

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant
squeeze. ‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked.

She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married , and have a
couple of kids…’

‘No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this
challenge at her age.

‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told
me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave
class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to
this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course
of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends
wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ ll
never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to
the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her
three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m
sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is
killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘ We do not stop playing because we
are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only
four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You
have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When
you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are
nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one
productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven
years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn
eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.’

She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’ She challenged
each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’ s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

It’s the middle of August, and if you aren’t getting excited about going back to college then maybe you shouldn’t go. I know it sounds tough but it’s true. Many students go off to college with that “deer caught in the headlight look” and are just going with the herd. Few go off striding with confidence and buzzing over the opportunities that lie before them.

College is the next step in your development; it is a shock to you because it is different. All your old routines are about to be thrown out the window and you are going to have to develop new ones. You are going to have to take more responsibility for your actions. Well guess what, get used to it! There’s a great line in the movie “The Edge” where Anthony Hopkins determines he has to kill the bear stalking him. He psyches himself up by saying “What one man can do another man can do.” There have been countless students that have survived going off to college before you and there will be countless ones after you- “What one man can do another can do!” Keep saying it until you feel it in your bones!

Besides, this is good practice for you, four years from now you’re going to go through another shock to your system as you enter graduate school or start your first post –graduate job, this will quickly be followed by a succession of other shocks like getting married, being responsible for a mortgage and having kids; all new responsibilities, all new steps in your personal development.

So look at yourself in the mirror and determine if you want to succeed in college and will do anything it takes to make it happen. You can’t B.S. yourself because deep down inside you and only you will know if you gave it your all. If you give it your best, you will feel the joy of the journey as well as the reward at the end, if you don’t give your best, you will eventually feel miserable and your self esteem will suffer.

There are no silver bullets, success is simple, all it takes is a desire to succeed, a determination to do the work, and a persistence to not give up when it gets rough. Only you can choose to succeed, no one else can do it for you. If you are brutally honest with yourself and aren’t ready for this, then admit it and go off and do something else; there is no lost honor in that. If you stay the course and look to “just get by” and not commit 100% to being your best, then you are stealing! Yes, stealing! Stealing valuable time from both you and your teachers, stealing tuition money from either your parents or from another source, and most of all robbing yourself of valuable opportunities. You have the power, you have to choose; it’s growing up time!

I have finally activated Onward and Upward’s new blog attached to our website: www.oucoaching.com.  I wanted to get this done before the school year begins so I will be able to add some great nuggets of advice, insight and inspiration for my readers.  Until then, enjoy the rest of your summer!

Why does it take a sports team to win in order for people to feel happy and alive. (don’t believe me? Talk to someone from Boston, a town whom the sports gods are shining on of late-Red Sox, Celtics, Patriots.) How come we can’t feel that way all the time? I believe we can if we choose to. The sports team is just an excuse to bring it out, the ability to feel that way was is always in us. Imagine feeling joy, inspiration, the feeling of lightness and giddiness all the time!

I’ve also heard it said that soldiers who were about to go into battle for the first time never felt more alive than in that moment. Is it because they were living in the ultimate “now” and not knowing if they were going to be around in the next minute? They reported feelings of a heightened awareness of the senses and exhilaration. We are all unique heroes in our own way! We are all incredible, complex, beautiful beings full of talents and a purpose. Why do we hide this fact and accept a life of drudgery? The energy of a person living a life fully alive consumes everyone they come in contact with. You can literally feel it, and once you do, you cannot walk away unchanged. Live the life of a hero, believe you are special, be a light in the dark room. Choose to feel like your team just won the Super Bowl! Pax!

I was in line at the supermarket the other day where the man in front of me wouldn’t stop complaining about everything. I couldn’t resist the urge to put my two cents in. I explained that he should look on the bright side of life and that it will get better. I ended with a “keep your chin up friend and stay positive.” He just looked at me incredulously, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. I then turned to complete my transaction and what I discovered was that the cashier had overheard our conversation. What I immediately noticed was her change in attitude. She seemed”lighter” and full of energy. I suppose in her line of work she gets dumped on with having to hear other people’s problems and I can tell , even though she didn’t verbalize it, that her heart was saying thank you for my positive message. Our attitude is a choice. We can choose to be happy or sad, positive or negative. Why choose negativity if you know it will only bring your energy levels down? In any situation you are confronted with, say to yourself, “I choose to feel good.” repeat it as often as possible and soon you will be living it. I believe the new “rebel” will be the one who turns away from our country’s media saturation. He or she will be the one’s who will walk away from the computer and TV screen, will stop reading the headlines and won’t turn on the radio. The new rebels will choose their own attitudes without being influenced by outside forces. They will look at life as they choose to see it. A wise man once told me, “You want to fix the economy? Have everyone in the country turn off the TV for a month and just go about their business. After one month you’ll see at least a 25% pickup! ” I think he may be on to something. Victor Frankl said the last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s attitude. Choose wisely.
P.S. To read my new article on summer advice for college students go to:

 http://EzineArticles.com/?id=1209353

Gas prices are getting everyone down. When I drive past my local station and see the price going up daily, I get as annoyed as anyone. Being momentarily perturbed at something is normal, what isn’t healthy is when we obsess on something negative and can’t let it go to the point where we allow it to ruin our day. I use gas prices as an example because I know people who think the oil cartels are out to personally get them! This leads me to two points: the first is that don’t obsess on something you can’t change! If you don’t have the power to change something, don’t obsess on it and allow that negativity to bring your energy down. Accept it as a “truth” of the moment and focus on things within your power to change. The second is focus on the positives in life and what is good. I dare say even on your worst day you can find something that went right! What sense is there in focusing on what is wrong or what you are lacking; where is that going to get you? If you have to obsess on something, obsess on what is good and right and what opportunities are out there for you! This will pick up your energy levels and get you excited about life! So lift that cloud over your head! Know that above the clouds the sun is shining and focus on the light! Turn off those 24 hour news stations on TV, open up a window and feel the fresh air. Listen to some fun music and dream on! Happy Memorial Day and if you can, thank a veteran this weekend, they are all true heroes!

There is an old Latin saying that goes: “Audentes Fortuna jovat,” which means, “Fortune favors the bold.” Many times we hesitate moving in the direction of our dreams out of indwelling fears. Fear is an emotion that we project into the future, we obsess on something that may or may not happen. How to battle this is staying in the moment, focusing on the “now” and take the necessary steps today and today only that can be taken. By focusing on the “now’ we put our complete attention on it and not on an uncertain future. Also, by doing the right things today, you are greatly increasing the odds of reaching your dream. It is the “little victories” that will insure the Big Win! So don’t be afraid, take massive action as Tony Robbins used to say! Move through the fear; stay focused, be bold and you will become one of “Fortune’s Favorites!”

P.S. Funny thing about fears, after you confront them and move through them, you find that the things you feared didn’t amount to much and were unfounded.

P.P.S. Two sites that I highly recommend are: www.smmrs.org, the official website of St. Mary Magdalen’s Regional Catholic grade school in Millville, NJ. If you ever want to get inspired, check out their site and see how they are heroically shaping the future leaders of our society one child at a time! Also, If you are considering building a website, I can’t recommend Joe Callavini enough! He is the “Website Wizard” and is quite affordable! You will get top notch service and your site will be up and running and looking professional in no time. Check him out at www.jasspm.com